To all the lovely, wonderful people out there that may feel like you’re not good enough, I just want to tell you that, you are. You are enough. In fact, you are amazing! I hope you will remind yourself that every day, out loud!
I have a personal story to share. In my childhood, I’ve always felt ugly because I had features about my face that resembled my biological father, who was extremely abusive in every aspect. I will share more of that in future posts but growing up, I felt ugly, and it didn’t help with relatives who often compared your looks to others and sometimes I was even told that I was exactly like him. I had very low self-esteem and avoided group conversations because it was so uncomfortable when people looked at me. Whenever I was with a friend who had another friend with them that I didn’t know, I’d feel left out because the other friend didn’t seem to want to talk to me. There was always that distance between me and that other friend. I ended up thinking that there was something wrong with me that caused others to do not want to talk to me. But, it’s important to know that when you’re feeling bad about yourself, and you avoid others, people can usually sense that, but because they don’t know your story, they don’t know that it’s you feeling uncomfortable with yourself, the other person may even think you don’t like them. It’s crazy that all this time you’re worried about what they think of you, they’re likely feeling the same!
Self-esteem is a huge issue, and it has caused so many problems in my life, such as jealousy, doubt, shame, stress, anxiety, you name it. I’ve tried so many things to get rid of it, such as advice about letting go of the past. I am all for letting go and forgetting, but what if your physical brain won’t give you? Often I failed because even though I thought I’ve forgotten, in reality, they were just buried. You do not need to feel guilty about feeling this way, because it’s often not something you choose to.
I’ve eventually learned that it’s really not about getting rid of those feelings, it’s about doing our best to live with them without letting them destroy us, and at the same time, doing anything we can to make ourselves feel good, even if it is temporary. It’s about giving yourself constant reminders that you are in fact, a wonderful person and you are worth it. It’s about having physical notes, quotes, people, places, books to remind you.
I slowly found that whenever I did makeup and dressed nicely, took care of my hair and skin, I didn’t feel as ugly. I found that when my hair is just washed and clean, I felt quite good. This is one of the reasons why I enjoy photographing makeup/beauty because it helps me forget about those features on my face completely, and makes me feel like I actually look pretty decent.
Self-care is so very important, especially if you have low self-esteem. You need to give yourself the best of care, such as eating well, sleeping well and pampering yourself. It can be a difficult thing to do, especially if don’t have a lot of time. But, it’s still possible to even make 10 minutes of time to do these things. Do things that make you feel good, whether it’s soaking in the bath with beautiful bath salts and bubbles, or relaxing in bed with your favorite book or TV show that makes you happy. Whatever it is, remember that you are enough, whether you have traits about you that you don’t like. Flaws are part of everyone, and you can grow and learn and do even better tomorrow.
I just want you to know that no matter how bad you feel about yourself, surround yourself with people that make you feel great, websites that give you energy and positivity and books that renew your energy. Whatever it is, just tell yourself often that you are enough, you are good enough for absolutely anything.