How can you tell someone’s jealous of you?

Perhaps it’s your friend, colleague, sibling, or partner even. Maybe they’re harboring the most significant envy towards you, cursing you every moment and yet you had no idea at all.

Jealousy is such a powerful emotion, and it is so common that I’m sure that we’ve all felt it at some stage of our lives. It can make someone become irrational and often, jealousy can be caused by the fear of loss, due to insecurities, low self-worth, and other things.

They are very likely to be jealous of you if:

  • You have a certain skill which they don’t, such as you’re really great at conversations or making people laugh and they lack the ability.
  • You are really talented at something.
  • You are very successful at something.
  • You get along really well with their best friend or partner. Or you may get along really well with another guy, or another girl.
  • You get really high grades.
  • They have low self-esteem and feel that they’re not good enough. You can sometimes tell by the way they talk about themselves, perhaps they will complain about their weight, figure, looks, etc.
  • You being you. Maybe it’s your hair or eyes. Perhaps it’s what they’ve yearned for all their life.
  • So, how can you tell when someone’s jealous of you?
  • Excluding you when it seems that they’ve invited almost everyone you know around you.
  • Negatively comparing you.
  • Trying to hurt you on purpose, such as knowing that certain things upset you and continue to do/say them anyway.
  • They seem to be happy seeing your pain.
  • Gossiping about you, talking negatively about you behind your back.
  • Ignoring you when you try to talk, but when someone else does, they react positively.
  • Joking about you in a wrong way, such as hinting that you’re stupid.
  • Angry or annoyed at you randomly.
  • Seem to be interested in seeking revenge against you.
  • Gives you the rolling eyes, like every time they look at you, it’s as if they’re rolling their eyes at you.

These are all possibilities; a person may be jealous of you and act completely nice but just avoids you in certain situations. It can be hard to tell, but you also have to look at that person. Are they unhappy with themselves? Do they have low self-esteem? Do you have something they desperately want?

It can be extremely difficult to handle a situation where someone may be jealous, but I truly believe in talking about it. Getting the jealous person to realize that they’re jealous can often help the situation (or it could make it worse, who knows!) but try and recognize that it’s not your fault there’s nothing wrong with you. Jealousy is usually about that person’s own fear that you are threatening something they love, such as their friend, partner, or even parents.

Sometimes, it helps to be empathetic about jealousy, talking about it or offering help (if they’re even willing to listen) can show them that you aren’t there to take their beloved person/thing away.

Whatever it is, just realize that you are not at fault, and you should not feel guilty. It is something the jealous person must work through, and that there’s nothing wrong with you. If you ever did get excluded, it wasn’t because there’s something wrong with you, it was because of them.

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